January 2009
tesslynch:
Oh cool! Another person I know just got engaged! And another vodka soda just got poured down my throat!
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The Hotel Café Medley - “Auld Lang...
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Peenman Enterprises - Beachfront property in...
“Friends, have you ever wondered how enjoyable beachfront property in Arizona would be? What’s that you say? There is no beachfront property in Arizona? Well, following the melting icecaps that flood coastal cities, caused by global warming, prime beachfront property in Arizona can be yours. If you call now we’ll also throw in the Brooklyn Bridge free of charge as well as a partial of...
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Sometimes ...
hipsterdiet:
All you need is a high five.
I found this to be highly effective with my kid clients, especially when they had to do a running jump to reach my hand.
December 2008
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Otis Redding & Carla Thomas - “New...
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Metric - “Ending Start”
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“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.”
– Lily Tomlin
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Guillemots - “Falling Out Of Reach”
...
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Thomas Newman - “Define Dancing”
...
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Harry Nilsson - “Remember”
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Screw You, Randy Newman. I Hate LA
I have this aversion to LA, mainly because every time I schlep over there something less than pleasant occurs or I’m there for tedious reasons. Examples:
Losing my passport and having to go in person to the government building for a replacement, where I wait over an hour just to have the lady behind the glass give me a stink eye and be short with me. But then smiles and compliments me on my...
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Ritorna a Me
Megan: Whatever you do, don't shave your legs.
Grace: Why?
Megan: Well, then you definitely won't let it go too far.
Grace: Megan! It's a first date!
Megan: Yeah, well, I married a first date, missy, and you know how it is. You're out with a guy, you find him attractive, and suddenly everything he says sounds brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality.
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“Dr. Ruth knows more tricks than a monkey on a hundred yards of grapevine.”
– R.C. Collins
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Canon Blue - “Target Practice”
Toss...
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Romo Matchmakers
A few years ago my parents successfully set their friend up with someone, which resulted in marriage. Of course they now regard themselves as skilled matchmakers. I usually rolled my eyes and went about my business when I heard them discussing their next target, but that focus has unfortunately shifted to me for the past year. The guys they’ve so far submitted to me… well, let’s...
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Britt Daniel & Brian Reitzell -...
“Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
– Henry Ward Beecher
Going back for round two tomorrow. Gotta feed the book beast.
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Tears for Fears - “Shout”
I have a...
No Talk > Small Talk
I get that some cashiers like to chat for that 1 minute they’re ringing up the purchase, but I don’t need commentary on how I’m being foolish for not opening a B&N card to save 10%, or how the cover art on one of my books is too gruesome to look at (picture of human tendons - seriously?), or that I really should put on my jacket because it’s cold outside (it’s...
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Le Loup - “Canto XXXIV”
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Yes, I'm watching Shaun of the Dead on Christmas
[Ed looking through Shaun's LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]
Ed: 'Purple Rain'?
Shaun: No.
Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: 'Dire Straits'?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, 'Stone Roses'.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: 'Second Coming'.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! 'Sade'.
Shaun: Yeah, but that's Liz's!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
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Kyte - “Solsbury Hill” (Peter Gabriel...